Have you ever been so heartbroken that you just couldn't see how you would ever be able to love again?                

Have you tried to fight very hard for someone, because you believed that it was true love you felt, and because you just couldn't live without that person? Did you ever cry so many tears, you wondered if there would be any left for the rest of your life?

Maybe it is just me, but I did that. All of it. I spent years of my young life fighting for

"The Love of my Life"

The first two years I tried to "catch him" by never going against his mood, always understanding his point of view, and I refused to see anything wrong or alarming about his attitude. This, of course, was unconscious, but today I see the pattern.

Two years of coping with a roller-coaster of feelings  ranging from joy and fulfilment to disappointment, rejection,  and neglect, repeating itself over and over again. Feeling deeply connected and in love, until the destructive attitude once again manifested itself. Despite this, we moved in together, got married and had two children. Yes, that is how strong my "true love" was for him.

This went on until I learned to understand the difference between addictive love and unconditional love.

I believed I was practising unconditional love, because I tried to love him no matter what he put me through. I felt that if only I loved him enough, unconditionally, he would be able to leave his addiction behind. I would have won and we could finally be a happy family! But that would never be the outcome.

You see, I was addicted too

I was addicted to the need of saving him. You might say, I needed him to be addicted so that I could save him. And he needed my safe harbour to sail into so that he could feel taken care of. Now, that sounds like a full circle of co-dependency .... and it was. This is why addictive love never has a happy ending.

Once I realized that there was no way I could ever save him, because I myself had an addictive attitude, the break-up was inevitable. My heart was broken wide open. I understood that it was not my job to save him, it was my job to take care of my own addiction and to heal that. So, I decided to set us free from the co-dependency and hoped that MAYBE he would also be free to take action towards his own healing.

My broken heart was now able to heal

The hard shell of pride, justice, force and control was broken into pieces as I understood that I needed to let go, and let unconditional love do the work. I needed to start practising self-love. To be brave enough to look at my own attitudes and to take 100% responsibility for my part in the game.

This life challenging experience has been a gift to me!

I HAD to go through the hardships of this relationship in order to be shown my own issues. And,  becoming aware of my addictive love patterns has given me the opportunity to work through them and heal them.

Do you recognize some of the patterns I am talking about?

How often do you feel frustrated that, no matter what you do, nothing really changes?

Are you stubbornly holding on to an attitude that doesn't serve you, out of fear of what will happen if you let go?

Does it scare you to open up to a new relationship, because you don't want to go through the whole thing again?

Work with me, and see your relationships change for the better

Because I know all these feelings and understand where they come from, I can help you work through them. Working with me, you will get tools, that will help you uncover and find the hidden emotions that make you addicted to destructive relationships. I can help you identify the negative thought patterns that hold you back from moving forward in life and enjoying a truly unconditional love relationship.